Learning to ask is part of success

The only way to get what you want out of life is by asking! This naturally begins at birth and follows us to the grave.

As life progresses, it seems most people tend to lose the initiative to ask for what they want.

They don't ask for a raise, for a date, for a sale, for a price reduction.

Most people simply don't ask.

The result is getting less than what they want.

If you have fallen out of the routine of asking, you can follow these easy habits for success.

One habit is to start slowly to build momentum.

That's right.

Make simple requests to remind yourself that you can and do get what you want, by asking.

Is it going to work every time? Of course not, but will asking dramatically increase your probability of getting what you want? Yes!

The acquisition of any skill requires practice and repetition, so get started today.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow eloquently said, "Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear." This relates to the second habit: learn to enjoy uncertainty! People work deadend jobs and stay in unproductive relationships because they are not sure of what to expect if they ask for something different.

Most people are so scared about uncertainty that they never activate their asking muscles for fear they will make a mistake or fail.

No great business leaders and relationship builders ever really know what to expect, but they are still willing to walk into the unknown.

A thousand little "no's" can lead to a big "yes" is the third habit.

Rejection stinks, but that's no reason to give up.

Rejection is part of life.

It's a good thing Edison didn't give up when he was inventing the light bulb.

It's been said that he tried 10,000 experiments before producing the incandescent light bulb.

He then had to work hard to get the public to accept his invention.

No matter where you are in life you have to learn to deal with rejection in a way that helps you take more action to get what you want.

Let Edison's example illuminate your own tenacity.

To improve your power of asking you can perform the fourth habit of practicing desired behavior in front of the mirror.

This sounds stupid, but it works.

As children we become adults by mirroring our elders.

Later, we daily dress and groom in front of a mirror to reflect back to us our appearance.

If you have to speak publicly, for instance, would it help for you to rehearse what you have to say in front of a mirror before actually giving your presentation? Of course! Get in the habit of asking for a raise, asking for a date, talking with your children or rehearsing a business proposal in front of a mirror before actually doing it.

The fifth critical habit is to develop a list of people you can ask.

No one climbs the ladder of success without the aid of someone else.

Brainstorm on paper a list of people whose assistance and cooperation you want or need to achieve your goal.

Choose the top ten names and write out how and why you want them to help you.

Then write out how they might benefit.

Approach each one of these people and ask! Tracking your success is the sixth habit you can employ.

Someday does not exist.

Today is the only reality.

Your life five years from today will be nothing more than the accumulation of all those days.

And how you spend each one affects all others.

Focus on setting asking goals and then tracking them daily, weekly and monthly.

Use a calendar organizer or a dry erase board to track the progress of your asking.

This will give you a clearer picture of how much you are actually asking.

The seventh and final habit is to play the numbers game.

Sales are down when the sales department isn't talking to enough prospects.When sales are down by 50 percent it might be a good idea to prospect twice as many people.

If your manuscript is being rejected then send it to another publisher until it is accepted.

Approach and ask the same prospect several times if you want the sale.

Whatever it is that you want to achieve, keep on prospecting, swinging, shooting, practicing and playing and you'll win.

The truth is: if you don't ask, you rarely get.

Practice a few of these powerful habits to make a quantifiable difference in your personal and professional life.

Best of success to you!

Jeffrey Benjamin is the founder of Breakthrough Training and co-author of the Real Life Habits for Success book series.

Visit www.breakthroughtraining.com to learn more or call (337-1600.