Tips for laughs and logic

Forget the technical this time; let's try logic. You made it through the summer. Have a look at yourself in that mirror, is it really you? Look down, what do you see? A big T-shirt with little bitty feet? Hopefully you can see your feet!

This is the time for a logical, controlled approach to weight loss and fitness. How about a few handy fitness hints. I've picked up quite a few in my 30 years of sweat.

Don't eat cake and drink wine at the same time. Double the calories and half the fun.

Don't plan your dinner menu while you exercise. You'll cook twice as much.

Peanut butter and M&Ms, eaten before class, will come back up about 10 minutes into your fitness workout.

A small hole in your tights will get larger during the floor work.

The Oakland Raiders will show up when a yoga class is planned.

Don't jog unless you can outrun the neighbors' dogs.

Running on ice will attract attention - mostly medical.

If you're an exercise wife, your husband will be fat, and if you're an exercise husband, your wife will hate to sweat.

Ten minutes into your workout, your bladder will give way.

Some friend(?) gave you 10-pound weights, and expects you to use them.

Test the transparency of your swimming suit in water before you jump in the pool.

The boss will require your attendance at a hot tub party when you're 20 pounds overweight.

If you sign up for a fitness class, your kids will come down with measles the day it starts.

Learn to brake your 10-speed before you start downhill.

Don't covet the body next to you in your exercise class.

Don't spend eight hours on the slopes the first time out.

And for heavens sake, do something about your eating habits. Licorice sticks, beer and an occasional taco will keep you alive but just barely.

All good suggestions for a fun new beginning in health.

Jerry Vance is owner of The Sweat Shop/Wet Sweat. She offers classes through Carson City Recreation and Aquatics Center and is a fitness instructor for the Senior Center and Healthsmart.