No miracle, just an appearanceat Friday Mass

Well, if you don't want to go to hell in a hand basket with us this week, better quit reading now. We heard Pope John Paul II had a great sense of humor, so maybe that will keep us from the fiery furnace for a while.

When we went to St. Teresa's for the Mass for the pope on Friday, Father Jerry saw Maizie with Carolyn, threw his hands over his heart, fell into a trance, and muttered something like "The end is near." At the same time, Ed Cordisco looked up at the ceiling and stated that the lightning crack he saw there hadn't been there a moment before. How gauche ... and why were they laughing?

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Then when Father Jeff was at lunch the other day, we asked if he'd like us to nominate him for pope. He respectfully declined, saying that he wasn't Catholic and his family didn't want to move to Rome ... picky, picky, picky ... so we asked Father Jerry, but he said he was upset that he was second choice (however, we noticed the "II" in back of the pope's name, so it must not be too bad) ... that's tough, because we thought we'd save a lot of time for the cardinals and have a "local boy makes good" story here ...

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We also figured out why they only choose a Catholic male ... when the crowds shout, "Viva il Papa" ("Long live the Pope"), they knew they didn't want a woman and have the crowds shouting, "Yo, Mama." (whoosh ... the flames are getting hotter ...)

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Apparently, we were not invited to Charles and Camilla's wedding (or the invitation got "lost in the mail") ... so we decided to have breakfast in their honor at Heidi's Saturday ... that all went to pot when Carolyn ordered "pigs in a blanket" ... in any event, we wish them well (and don't call the editor ... he cries when you do) ... our "lady in waiting," April, was lovely to us...

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Then this week, Prince Rainier of Monaco died ... leaving Prince Albert as ruler ... since he's single, Carolyn has been testing "Princess Carolyn Grimaldi" as a name (Maizie informed her that was his sister's name, but it hasn't deterred her) ... if this pans out, at least we'll all have a place to stay when we visit the palace ...

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After seeing Farrah Fawcett on TV the other day, we think she's the AARP answer to Jessica Simpson ... pretty ditsy ...

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Do you think, or is it just us, that when you buy a mobile home you are just asking for tornadoes to blow you to Oz?

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Yesterday was the 60th anniversary of the liberation of the Nazi death camp at Buchenwald ... some of the members of the 6th Armored Division were there, along with their memories of that fateful day ... unfortunately, since that time, the horror has gone on in Cambodia, Rwanda, and, currently, Darfur in Africa ... will we ever learn?

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We have it on "good authority" that Skip Thurman (of Thurman's Ranch House) is riding a ground swell for mayor in 2008 ... that is, if he doesn't kill his "backers" first. Just as long as you keep cooking your lamb chops, Skip ... they're the best in town ...

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Judi Rodarte, formerly of Carson City, tells us of a friend who was berating her 6-year old-son, "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?" He replied, "Gee, Mom, as many times as you want to." Now that's living on the edge ...

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Too bad Kmart/Sears doesn't want to come back to Carson City as badly as Wal-Mart wants to put Sam's Club back on their old property ...

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Carolyn was mortified the other day when Maizie used the wrong end of her chopsticks at Kim Lee's Sushi ... it reminded her of the time Virginia Ramirez used her fork there ... both have "no class at all" ... apparently, M. came through, though, when eating at Thunder Canyon ... she didn't spill once, and enjoyed Sunday brunch and the great view ... only a 15-minute drive for a delightful time ...

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We were sent some timely quotes ... "Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. I can usually shut her up with cookies." "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." (These seem to fit us at times ...)

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And from our friend, Mel ... "A woman from the most southern part of Tennessee goes to the newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is in the paper. The editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word (shades of the Reno Gazette-Journal). She pauses, then says, "Well, let it read, 'Billy Bob died.'"

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor explained, "Sorry, ma'am, there's a seven-word minimum." A little flustered, she thinks a minute and says, "In that case, let it read 'Billy Bob died. 1947 pickup for sale.'"

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This week, Kress Whalen and her nephew, Ward Jesse, get older (might they be relatives?) ... may they both have their cake and eat it, too ...

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And finally ... we know what the "M" stands for in the middle of Vernon Latshaw's name ... but we are sworn to silence. Let it be known it is not Mervin, Max, Myron or Morty ... however, for a million dollars we might be swayed ... (we're so easy)

Have a wonderful week ...

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.