Showing appreciation and building relationships

Have you experienced being on the receiving end of a heartily delivered and sincere "thank you"? Do you remember what that did for you inside? I recall receiving kudos for jobs I participated in where the thanks I received was sincere and genuine.When I received that thanks, I remember feeling really warm inside and feeling a tremendous degree of respect for the person who noticed and acknowledged my efforts.

I also noticed that I began looking for ways to help or do a good job for that person because I appreciated the gratitude.

We can begin to build really strong relationships or reinforce those that are already established by taking the time to notice a job well done.

But noticing that job well done isn't enough.

Taking the next step showing appreciation is what cements the relationship.

Each of us likes to have our work noticed by those around us and particularly by those who have authority over us.Maybe those of us who are shy or have a more private nature don't enjoy a big fanfare, but we still appreciate when our work is noticed and appreciated.

Many managers do notice when a member of their staff does a good job.And often those managers will in some way acknowledge the person for that job.

This acknowledgement may take the form of a "thanks a bunch," a pat on the back, a comment such as "good work," or an email that is copied to the personnel or human resources department.All of these methods are good.They can be even better if you take them a step farther.

The appreciation we give our staff and coworkers should be specific.A general "good work" comment conveys only a partial attempt at appreciation.

The person on the receiving end of such a comment might get a warm, fuzzy feeling at first but then will begin to wonder," What specifically does my manager or coworker like about my work on that project?" In anticipation of our staff needs,we can begin formulating our appreciation in very specific terms.

For example, instead of saying "good work,"we could be specific by saying "You did a fine job on running that meeting.You kept the meeting on track, you involved the right people, and you stuck to the agenda.You helped make good use of the time we had today.

Good work." Now that kind of appreciation is specific and will stick to the receiver's ribs! Giving specific appreciation also demonstrates that you as the manager are paying attention to the efforts of your staff and coworkers.When your staff knows you notice the details, they pay more attention to the details.When they know what you like and don't like in the running of your department, they can more easily meet and exceed your expectations.

Sincere and specific appreciation will go a tremendous way toward building strong relationships among your staff.

I want to make another point about showing appreciation.

I mentioned that emails are often used to convey appreciation to a coworker who has done a good job.

In my book,"5 Critical Communication Vehicles," I discuss at length the lifespan of electronic documents versus the lifespan of paper documents.Email is easily deleted and can only be seen by the recipient unless the recipient chooses to forward that compliment along to someone else.

On the other hand, paper documents have a longer lifespan.

Paper doesn't get thrown away quite so quickly and will tend to stay on the recipient's desk longer.

Therefore, putting your appreciation on paper will add to its impact and longevity.

When putting your appreciation on paper, I recommend using a handwritten note.

Simple note cards purchased in packs of 10 or 20 for under $5 are terrific for this.

I even had one client who made it a policy each week to write five note cards to various members of his staff.

He would write the cards by hand, being specific with his appreciation, and then deliver his cards to the recipients' desks before they arrived at work.His staff began looking for who got the cards that week! It became a source of fun and anticipation to see who got appreciated for what.And the staff members who received the cards didn't just tuck them in their desk drawers.No! They displayed them on their desks for others to see.What a tremendous relationship builder! As a strategy for getting used to showing appreciation, the next time you are in a store and receive good service note the name of the person who gave you that good service.

Then go home and write a note to that person; send it in care of the store manager so the manager is aware of the good service.You may never see the huge grin that comes across that person's face, but you will experience a very warm fuzzy of your own for taking the time to appreciate someone's help and performance.

Go make someone's day! Tracy Peterson Turner, PhD, is an expert in written and oral communication.

Through her Sparks-based company,Managerial Impact, she conducts workshops and provides training to companies that want to improve clarity and cooperation among managers, staff, and clients.

Contact her at (775)544-8479 or Tracy@Mgr-Impact.com.