Poaching elk: Give it at least six minutes

In a headline in the Nevada Appeal earlier this month, Nevada game wardens were seeking information on a "poached elk" ... so a reader wrote to us asking, "How do you poach an elk?"

In the interests of truth and good eating, we believe you have to poach him more than six minutes, since they are considerably bigger than an egg. However, once poached, they would be delicious with mashed potatoes, green beans and a nice wine, with dessert to follow ... salt and pepper to taste. (Watch out, Charlie and Linda ... we smell "cookbook" in this ... )

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Valentine's Day is coming up in about three weeks ... so if you want a really spectacular Valentine's gift for your sweetie, a new 2004 Dodge Viper (sticker price $84,795), call 882-3945, and buy a $100 raffle ticket to help benefit the Carson City and Minden Community Counseling Centers youth programs ... it's a great cause ... or if you don't have a sweetie, you know where you can find us ...

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All this sweet stuff, reminds us that Jan and Steve Myers will be celebrating their 39th anniversary on Jan. 29 ... now that's something to celebrate ... congratulations and "many moooooore" ...

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OK ... enough of the good stuff ... let's get down and dirty. Did you see where Charter Communications is raising our basic cable rates 19 percent here in good ol' CC? Yep ... got the news in our cable bills this week. And to think we believed Dan Aykroyd in their TV ads ("dish eye" anyone?) that we'd be "stable with cable." HA! So much for "truth in advertising" ...

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And watch out whom you "give" to when donating to charities ... both Newsweek and Time magazines came out with alerts about who provides the most aid to the tsunami victims and who doesn't ... you can go to www.charitynavigator.org; www.give.org; or www.charitywatch.org to see how a charity is rated.

It pays to be careful ... there are many fine ones, but there are also many rip-offs (you'll be surprised at some of them) ... at least 65 percent should go directly to the cause ... anything else is unacceptable ... this goes for your regular charities as well, not just for the tsunami victims ... again, be careful and be choosy with your $$$ ...

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Hot Flashes (hmmm, maybe that's not quite right) ... the BAC's "Honk, Jr." is adorable ... it lasts one more weekend ... call 883-1976 for dates and information; we also see that Cafe del Rio has opened in Virginia City for business; that, along with the Crackerbox, Station Grill and Adele's reopening, is good news for the gastronomically challenged; and we'll have to try Duke's (in the Fandango Casino) and NV 50 in Mound House soon; and, if you're tired of the pogonip "soup" we're stuck in ... go up to Lake Tahoe and get sunny and warm ... although we have to admit, the pogonip is "purty darned purty" ... "

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Does anyone know what's happening to the old Job Corps Camp at Clear Creek? It's deteriorating, nobody uses it, and what's going to happen to it? Just wondering ...

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Since we're touching on "epicurean" delights this week ... Maizie went to a local casino (just remember there are "several" here in town) and ordered their prime rib special ... why, combat boots couldn't be made out of better leather ... it was both tough and tasteless ... we'd suggest the chef taste the food before calling it "special" ...

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We saw a "news report" this week ... "The man died of a gunshot wound to the head, but no reason has been given for the cause of death ... " a cold? a rash? Duh ...

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The McQueen Band looked and sounded good playing "It's a Grand Old Flag" in the inaugural parade last week ... but, where were the Douglas Tigers? We looked and looked and never did spot them ... ratz ...

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We have a fan of our Arkansas jokes, so are running two more just for him ... "Did you hear that they raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32? They want to keep alcohol out of the high school ... " "Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas, of course ... anywhere else and it would have been called a teethbrush ... " (draw evil grin in here _________)

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One more time ... who designed, or is responsible for, the street markings going into the Scolari's parking lot off Highway 50 East? It's so poorly marked that people were parked in the northbound lane as you turn off the highway ... we had to go "in the out" to get into the lot ... an accident waiting to happen ...

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"Someone who shall be nameless" was in Cambodia and was being poked gently in the butt by three small Cambodian ladies ... "What's going on," she asked her guide? They all giggled, and the guide said, "They say your butt big enough for all three of them."

Even the "butt of the joke" had to laugh ... no, it wasn't Jenny Craig ...

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.