Dodo birds alive and well ... on Supreme Court

Great news ... ornithologists are thrilled to learn that the dodo bird is not extinct ... five have been found alive and sitting on the Supreme Court in Washington, D.C., stupidity intact ... now, if they could only find out what made their pea brains pluck the stuffing out of the Fifth Amendment ...

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A reader says he would like to see Carson City become a real "college town," by making Western Nevada Community College a four-year college, similar to Nevada State College in Henderson. We do have a good basis for one ... almost 60,000 people in Carson City already, plus many thousands in the surrounding counties ... and we wouldn't have to drive to Reno to get a four-year degree. Sounds good to us ... gooooo Wildcats ...

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Do not look to Mars in August for a "close encounter." Two readers, JaNae and Joyce, said we were two years too late, and that our "news" was a little old (oops ... so, what else is new?). Oh well, maybe a comet will show up instead ...

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We were also told FEMA was doing the erosion control on C Hill ... and the Appeal said it was the U.S. Forest Service ... well, "somebody" is doing it ... put your best guess here _________ .

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TS Nick (that's Al Nicholson of Mountain West Insurance) ... your birthday will come around again next year ...

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A lady we met decided it was time to get herself out of the house and volunteer for something, since she was beginning to talk to her microwave ... luckily, it wasn't answering her ...

Bob Herzog tells us about the old fellow at death's door who smelled the delicious aroma of chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered all his strength to pull himself out of bed and make his way out of his bedroom and down the stairs thinking that he'd already died and gone to heaven or that his devoted wife was making sure he left this world a happy man.

As he made one last effort, his aged and withered hand reached toward a cookie at the edge of the table ... his wife smacked him with a spatula. "Stay out of those," she said,"they're for the funeral."

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With Bishop Straling retiring, how does "Bishop" Hanley sound? (Father Jerry ... remember the Fifth Commandment)

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Congratulations to the genius at DMV who thought to provide lots of chairs for their waiting customers ... too bad the farmers market doesn't take the hint ...

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Hackers into the credit card security systems don't give us a safe feeling, particularly when the credit card companies say, "You won't be liable for more than $50 if your card is compromised." Say what? We shouldn't be liable for anything ... we weren't the ones who goofed. This should be a warning to all of us to be very careful about our credit and information ... caveat emptor ...

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Don't feed the birds this year ... there is a disease going around that causes their throats to abscess and makes them regurgitate into their food. Since there is plenty of food this year for them, you are asked to clean out your bird feeders with bleach and set them aside until fall ... by that time, the disease should have run its course, and they will be safe to feed again ... the birds thank you ...

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Pinkerton Academy of Dance put on a class-A fund raiser at Thunder Canyon (Steak Diane, cherries jubilee and other lovely goodies) last weekend to raise money to bring the Reno Philharmonic to play for its annual "Nutcracker." To help with a wonderful Thanksgiving experience, donations can still be made by calling 882-3054.

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We checked with Sheriff Kenny Furlong about the bulletproof vests our deputies wear ... they are of the "Second Chance" variety, but he assures us they are safe because, "We have kept up with the problem." That's certainly good to know ...

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And speaking of the sheriff ... his office put on a volunteer appreciation dinner Friday night at the Elks Club to honor all the people who donate their time to help the sheriff and the community. The Elks (all volunteers themselves) put on a wonderful dinner, and a good time was had by all ...

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The Disabled American Veterans also invited us to dinner last week ... a wonderful group of men and women who have served, and still serve, our country ... they heard Florence Phillips of ESL One on One (the "in home" program to learn English) tell them about it (888-2021). Good dinner, good people ...

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Carolyn, and Norma Conway, will be off soon to attend Kate Hutter's and Michelle Mierz's Los Angeles Contemporary Dance Company's production of "The Reveal," which will debut in L.A. on July 7. Kate is the daughter of Collie and Charlie Hutter of Carson City ... tickets and information can be obtained by calling 310-315-1459.

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Mel Rappaport tell us of a Tennessean who, many years ago, was drafted by the Army. On the first day of boot camp, he was given a toothbrush ... that afternoon, the Army dentist pulled several of his teeth. On the second day, he was issued a comb ... that afternoon, the barber sheared his head. The third day, he was issued a jock strap ... the Army is still looking for him ...

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For the good guys at Ford service ... thanks for putting on M's license plates ... and to Rod Ward at Comstock Appliance ... yeaaaa! ... her icemaker works ... and may you have a good week, too ... Happy Fourth of July!

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.