Expanding your network

More business decisions occur over lunch and dinner than at any other time, yet no MBA courses are given on the subject.

-Peter Drucker

The more people you know, the more opportunities you have. You have incredible access if you are networked with a good mechanic, investor, teacher, real estate agent, financial planner, florist, doctor, engineer the list goes on!

The holiday season is teeming with parties and networking opportunities. More people will be out in public interfacing with people they know and people they don't know. This time of year is your chance to expand and grow your network.

Here are some networking habits to help increase and strengthen your personal network.

Pick a networking group. Get involved with an organization that fits your personality. You can get involved with a civic or community organization such as The Red Cross, Humane Society, Rotary, or whatever. There are also business specific networking groups, in-person or online. Choose one. Become a member. And, participate!

Go strike up a conversation. You can just sit there among a group and wait for people to come to you, but that is not effective networking. You have to take responsibility to strike up a conversation. If you feel intimidated or fear rejection, approach the person as if they want to meet you and they are waiting for you to take the first step. Remember to keep it positive and focus on the other person instead of yourself. This habit applies to all group functions whether it is a dinner social event, party or standing in line at the grocery store.

Practice good hygiene. Comb your hair, brush your teeth, swipe on deodorant, clean your ears. No stained shirts, dandruff collars or overly scuffed shoes. The last impression you want to leave is one that might turn people off. Put your best impression forward.

Fulfill the commitments you make. Or, don't make a commitment you won't keep. If you promise someone something, do it. A great way to weaken your network is to say you are going to do something and not do it. If you promise to call to get a lunch set up, do it. If you promise to forward certain information, do it. You want to be networked with dependable and reliable people, right?

Close the conversation on a positive note. "It was good to see you. Thank you for your time. I look forward to seeing you again. It was nice talking with you." All of these and other positive phrases are great ways to end a conversation. It is especially important to utter positive statements at the close of a conversation if opposing perspectives are shared. Let the person know that you appreciate them.

Welcome new friends into your life. A life full of friends is exciting and invigorating. Studies indicate that people with strong social ties live longer and are happier. Some people shy away from making friends because they've had an unpleasant experience with a so-called "friend." Being cautious can be a good thing, but don't allow negative past occurrences dictate how you treat others today, and in the future.

Keep the appointments you set. How is this an effective networking habit? When you cancel an appointment it can communicate that you think your time is more important than the person's time you canceled on. You networked your way to an appointment, and you are canceling? Reserving a time and not showing is even worst. Avoid inconveniencing your friends, family, and business associates by calling off what was already set in your schedule.

Diversify your network. Accept others for who they are, not for who you want them to be. This is far easier said than done. You might not want to sport purple hair, but other people might. You might enjoy reading books while other people prefer to watch television. One of your co-workers talks real slow and you speak fast. A key to increasing your acceptance is to remind yourself of how boring life would be if we were all alike! A diverse network allows you to expand your thinking and your opportunities.

Say "No, thank you." It must be said with confidence, too. You will meet people during your networking that you will have to say no to. It might be to discontinue your relationship. They might try to sell you something you don't want or need.

Create a list of people with whom you want to have relationships. Perhaps you want to develop certain business relationships, family relationships or friends. Grab a piece of paper and list the people with whom you want to have relationships. Pick your top five and call them to set up a lunch or meeting. Or get involved with the organizations they belong to so that you can start to get to know them.

Give people the opportunity to make a second impression. Research shows that we form an impression about someone within the first seven seconds upon meeting. We decide whether we like the person or not. This impression is not always true. Certainly you have been wrong more than once about what you thought of someone. Our judgment can easily be clouded by hearsay and prejudices. As long as you don't think your safety is in danger, allow people to make a second impression.

Stay in touch. Grab a business card or at least make sure you get their first and last name so you can record or data base who they are. You can send them "nice to meet you" cards or holiday cards, emails, phone calls or personal meetings. You can make it a point to speak with them at networking functions or eat lunch or get coffee together. Networks that don't stay warm usually die off. There are thousands of ways to stay in touch.

Expand and strengthen your network, today. Practice a few of these applicable tools, tips or habits to enjoy the many benefits a strong network produces. Best of success to you!

Jeffrey Benjamin is the co-author of "Real Life Habits for Success" and the founder of Breakthrough Training. He hosts Breakthrough Radio every Sunday at 9:30 a.m. on 99.1 FM Talk. Contact him through www.breakthroughtraining.com.