The Popcorn Stand: I don’t like a hairy situation

I don’t like facial hair. But I’m lazy. I only shave twice a week, so by Saturday night before that second time of the week I shave on Sunday morning, I’m feeling pretty hairy.

So I have a lot of respect for all those who competed in last Saturday’s beard contest on Nevada Day. I can’t imagine having a beard that long.

Believe it or not, I had a mustache when I was in college. But again it was more about laziness. Trimming the mustache, though, became too much of a chore so right before graduation I shaved the mustache off.

At least that’s what I tell myself. My parents complaining about the mustache and wanting to see me clean shaven for my graduation had nothing to do with it.

I’m so lazy, I can’t use an electric razor because I let my facial hair grow out to the point an electric razor would sting too much. The last time I used an electric razor was in college and I think that Christmas commercial showing Santa sledding down a hill on a Norelco razor was still airing. That’s still my favorite Christmas commercial.

I also don’t like long hair to the point where I really should go to the barber twice a week. But again, I’m lazy. I generally go to the barber once about every month to six weeks. Again, when that sixth week rolls around without a haircut, I’m feeling really hairy.

As an old fuddy, duddy, the one hairstyle I still can’t warm up to is the man bun. I used to have an issue with men who wore like those half inch pony tails, but I hardly see those around any more. Thank goodness.

I never let my hair get to that point. It would be way too long.

It would be a hairy situation.

— Charles Whisnand