Proficiency exam on 2003 events

By Barry Smith

It's time to see if you were paying attention in 2003.

1. Assemblyman Ron Knecht, R-Carson City, requested a bill be drafted in the Legislature to change the name of Nevada to:

A. Arnold Schwarzenegger

B. Ne-vah-da

C. East California

2. Carson City set a record high on Jan. 15. The temperature reached:

A. 71

B. 56

C. 104

3. The most overused phrase at the beginning of the war in Iraq was:

A. "Where's Saddam?"

B. "Shock and awe"

C. "Aw, shucks"

4. When 2003 began, North Carson City still had:

A. Kmart

B. Bridges with no freeway between them

C. Traffic congestion

5. A Carson City bridge club had to move out of its clubhouse on Conestoga Drive because:

A. Room was needed for video poker machines

B. NDOT wanted to build a freeway through it

C. It was in violation of zoning codes

6. Gov. Kenny Guinn, in his State of the State address, said "I refuse to balance this budget on the backs of ..."

A. "East Californians."

B. "our children, senior citizens and the poor."

C. "Ron Knecht."

7. Gov. Guinn instead balanced the budgets on the backs of ...

A. People who smoke and drink

B. Casinos

C. Pretty much everybody

8. When owner Mark Hoffman had the safe at Cabin the Sky cut open in front of a crowd of 300 people, they discovered:

A. Joe Conforte's little black book

B. Orange-colored mud

C. A warrant from the Internal Revenue Service

9. Carson High School's Blue Thunder marching band was criticized by a neighbor for:

A. Practicing too late in the evening

B. Tracking mud into her living room

C. Allowing karaoke singers to

accompany it

10. During the 2003 Legislature, Assemblyman Wendell Williams, D-North Las Vegas, was seen frequently in Carson City driving:

A. People crazy

B. A silver BMW Z4 sports car

C. Too fast

11. On a trip late in the year to Las Vegas, President Bush offended some residents of the state when he pronounced it:

A. East California

B. Ne-vah-da

C. A suitable site for nuclear waste

disposal

12. A new federal law which took effect during 2003 allowed people to register their names and phone numbers so they wouldn't be disturbed by:

A. Telemarketers

B. Carson High School's Blue Thunder marching band

C. Wendell Williams

13. Max Baer Jr.'s proposal for a Beverly Hillbillies Hotel and Casino in the old Wal-Mart building would include:

A. A 200-foot flaming derrick

B. Granny's Shotgun Wedding Chapel

C. Drysdale's Fancy Eatins

Answers:

1. C) East California

2. A) 71 degrees

3. B) Shock and awe

4. All of the above

5. C) It was in violation of zoning codes

6. B) "our children, senior citizens and the poor."

7. C) Pretty much everybody

8. B) Orange-colored mud

9. A) Practicing too late in the evening

10. B) A silver BMW Z4 sports car (bonus point for answering "all of the above")

11. B) Ne-vah-da

12. A) Telemarketers

13. All of the above

If you answered at least 10 right, then you pass the Nevada Appeal's proficiency exam, and this newspaper can be taken off the watch list for the No Reader Left Behind program.

Have a safe and happy 2004.

Barry Smith is editor of the Nevada Appeal. Contact him at editor@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1221.