They didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition

I've been having back problems lately. I went to the store to pick up something to alleviate the pain and probably was lucky to leave without a chauffeured side trip (in a patrol car, of course) to the Sheriff's Department.

Perhaps I was overreacting, but as they say in that old Monty Python sketch, "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition."

To steal another line from Monty Python, the right thing to do was to "run away."

It was more of a pain-riddled trudge, but it got me out of the place without any fuss.

I was looking for something at the store to rub on the sore back. Often, I forget the name of a product I need and just look at the displays until something that might work captures my attention.

This shopping system is imperfect. I ended buying Cruex by mistake one time. I thought it was foot spray. You know, Cruex, crew socks ...

Never mind.

I was slowly moving down a store aisle, looking at the products on the shelves and saying out loud (but to myself) "Balm ... Balm ... Balm ..." when I noticed this older lady staring at me. Her mouth was open and her eyes wide. I briefly returned my attention to the potions and lotions and pills, but she was gone when I turned again to look at her.

Perplexed, I asked myself why someone would get so upset that I was talking to myself. I've had most of my best conversations with myself for many years. And no one has called law enforcement or mental health on me.

Yet.

Though numb-minded from the pain, it finally came to me: Maybe she thought I was saying 'bomb ... bomb ... bomb!'

"Oh, no!" I exclaimed. To myself.

I'm pretty sure the woman went looking for the manager. I felt too lousy to explain myself so I dropped my basket and left. I got balm at a different store -- without uttering a word or even making any sounds -- and returned home to my Tylenol and massaging-heating pad.

Though explosives were the furthest thing on my mind that afternoon, I now believe that we Nevadans have had to deal with way too many political stink bombs. And it'll be interesting if the Nevada Supreme Court ends up dropping one of its own.

The governor's office petitioned the court to order legislators to adopt a tax plan. The court, in turn, gave legislators a week -- which was to end today -- to decide how best to fund the state's schools, colleges and universities.

The threat of the court potentially usurping their power finally sent lawmakers scurrying to beat the clock. Leaders in the state Senate and Assembly met Saturday and said they might have hatched a tax plan that was consensus-worthy. The idea was to vote on it Monday, if the various political factions were amenable to the proposal.

Perhaps they will have gotten their collective lawmaking acts together by the time you read this.

Other groups sought help from the court regarding this situation. Two of the largest school districts in Nevada, Clark and Washoe counties, also petitioned the court to take make the legislators take action.

Sens. Mark Amodei, R-Carson City, and Terry Care, D-Las Vegas, however, contend that the Nevada Constitution does not require the lawmakers to pass tax legislation by a certain deadline. They have asked the court to dismiss Guinn's petition and say the legislative deadlock stems from "nothing but the Legislature complying with its constitutional duties, even if at times awkwardly," the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported last week.

"... A spanking might help, but there is no authority for such a sanction," they also wrote.

Gov. Kenny Guinn told the Review-Journal that he would be willing to compromise on the tax raise -- to reduce it to $783 million. Some lawmakers prefer a gross-receipts tax; others a payroll tax. Guinn preferred gross receipts because it would spread the burden more equally among businesses, but says now he'll sign either type.

The governor also said he has no regrets about petitioning the court because it forced the legislators to begin working toward a compromise, he said.

Yeah, they were worried they would have to face -- at least in their minds -- a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

Whether the tax and budget situation has been cleared up, our lawmakers still look stubbornly ineffectual and childish.

Sorry, I didn't mean to insult the children of the world.

Spanking? Yeah, right. Whatever. But that would be letting these ideologue doofuses off too easy.

A kind of Spanish Inquisition? They deserve the real thing.

Whatever they decide, the Nevada Legislature this term has provided the citizens it represents with little more than weak punch lines this time around. Nevadans could have watched reruns of "Monty Python" if they were in such dire need of some laughs.

Terri Harber works on the Nevada Appeal's news desk.