The Popcorn Stand: Could’ve been a contender, could’ve been somebody

I’m getting more into the Olympic spirit which is a good thing since the Olympics are now almost half over, and in that spirit I’ve looked at #Didn’tMakeTheOlympicsBecause which lists some of the best excuses for not making the Olympics.

I too have an excuse for not making the Olympics. I played for USC’s team handball club as a freshman and was invited to the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. That sounds a lot more impressive than it really is as virtually anybody who played team handball I think had a chance to go to the Olympic Training Center if they paid their own way. But I couldn’t go because — I got bored with the sport and quit.

So to quote one of my favorite movie sayings, “I could’ve been a contender, I could’ve been somebody.”

NBC even got into the act tweeting Tweeting isn’t an Olympic sport as a reason for not being an Olympian.

Someone else tweeted they didn’t make the Olympics because coffee drinking isn’t an Olympic sport — yet. Of course I’ll never make the Olympics in coffee drinking since I don’t like coffee. Hot chocolate drinking on the other hand as Brando would say, I could be a contender.

I could also be a contender if pizza eating ever became an Olympic sport, another reason listed for not becoming an Olympian. And another person did tweet they would be a gold medalist if this was an Olympic sport: “Eating a whole pizza alone on the couch while watching Game of Thrones and crying.” Gold Medal right here!!! USA!!!

My favorite excuse tweeted was from a woman who showed a picture of herself trying to use an electric curler to curl her hair with the message: “Curling” isn’t what I thought it was.

Anyway is team handball still an Olympic sport? I’m thinking of making a comeback.

— Charles Whisnand


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