NCET Biz Tips: What it means to be truly great

I never wanted to share my story — my real story. All of my life I wore a mask and pretended to be someone I wasn’t, and I was good at it. I built a successful, billion-dollar business doing it. With my clients, I was Ray Gonzalez, investment officer. The confident and calm financial expert.

But deep inside I was angry, sad and anxious. At home I was the kind of guy who started fights, and who was as toxic as a person could be. I was afraid if people knew who I really was, they wouldn’t want to do business with me. I cared more about my career than I did about the impact of my behavior on my loved ones. For most of my life, I worked my hardest to make the next dollar instead of focusing my energy on the people around me. I saw the value of my account before I saw the value of my life.

And that’s why it all came crashing down.

Does any of this sound relatable? The first time I shared the real me was just a few years ago, in front of 300 people, many of whom are prominent leaders in our community. Since then, I’ve been approached by so many successful people who want to know how I address my mental health needs, while maintaining a successful business.

Although I have dedicated my 30-year career to financial advising, the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that the biggest investment you can make is in yourself. Here are some tips for how you can begin to do the same for yourself.

Find a good therapist. We are not meant to do this alone and professional help is important.

Once you have the tools and capacity, I invite you to ask those closest to you how they perceive you; ask about your strengths and areas for growth. Don’t argue or defend yourself. You’re going to find in that silence you can deepen these relationships, and you will gain valuable information.

Make a list of things you enjoy outside of work. If you aren’t yet doing them, make a list of interests or things you’d like to try and find ways to weave them into your week.

Once you know who you really are and what your passions are, go find people in those areas that can become friends or mentors. The most innovative and successful entrepreneurs throughout history have had help.

Be patient. Keep your eyes and heart open as you express this new version of you to the world.

Learn about how pain can act as a catalyst for true greatness at NCET’s Biz Bite on Wednesday, Oct. 25 at 11:30 a.m. at Reno Public Market.

NCET is a member-supported nonprofit organization that produces educational and networking events to help people explore business and technology. More info at NCETbite.org. 

Ray Gonzalez is an investment officer at Wells Fargo Advisors and is committed to breaking down stereotypes of success to help other high achieving professionals.